So we’ve all heard the sayings, “New Year, new me!” and, “out with the old, in with the new.” With all of the things that have happened in 2020, this year will certainly not go down in the history books as being apart of the good old days. In fact, most people are ready to kiss this year goodbye. While I am ready to ring in the New Year with my family tonight, I have to say that I am grateful for some of the lessons and epiphanies gained throughout such a tumultuous time.
Though seemingly simple, one of the things I found to be so profound to me was that the things that I have are really the only things that I need. I didn’t need to hoard toilet paper, hand sanitizer or groceries to feel secure. I was completely stocked on what matters, love. My family and I grew closer than ever and shared such a bond with one another throughout this time of being essentially “stuck” together. Did we get on each other’s nerves? Absolutely, at times we all needed a break from one another. But to have people in your space that you can say you actually like and enjoy being around is rare and precious. This time with them was a gift!
I also grew as an individual during this time. I don’t mean as my husband’s wife or as my children’s mother, but as me. I am continuing to rediscover who Danielle is, and I like her! Do I have it all together? Not even close! But I am able to forgive myself for my mistakes and not be so hard on myself. Not only that, I can now recognize when I am. You know that internal negative dialogue you have with yourself at times, the one where you drag yourself through the mud for the silliest thing you’ve done. I acknowledge that now and tell myself to cut it out. I have set boundaries for myself as well. I know who I do and do not want in my space. Yes, physically (I do believe in social distancing) but in my life in general. People have shown themselves for who they really are and for whatever reason in the past I have either chose to ignore them or felt obligated to still make room for them in my life. This year has definitely caused me to take a step back, reevaluate what I want to tolerate, and as a result let some things and people go. My peace is more important and invaluable than ever to me now!
Finally, I feel as though despite all that has happened, God reconfirmed his love for me this year as well as my purpose. So many opportunities to share 1spentmom have come along this year and so many more moms have been reached. I have been home with 3 children and a husband who works from home for 9 months and I have not lost my mind yet. I say that in all seriousness because as taxing as motherhood is at times, at no point have I regretted my time with them. I have lost close family members and have had some close friends fall ill, but I was constantly reminded that I wasn’t alone. He gave me peace in the midst of it all and that’s because of his love.
So was this the ideal year? No. Was it what I would have imagined for myself and my family? No. Do I still hate some of the things that came along this year? Yes! 2020 will most likely be remembered as the year of the dumpster fire. But I personally can not let the bad outweigh the good. I will forever be grateful for what I’ve gained this year and I hope that if you gaze back over the past 364 days, you too can find at least one reason to be thankful. Happy New Year!
~1spentmom~