Today, my husband and I celebrate 11 years of marriage. For those of you who are married, you already know how much work marriage is. The job of two people becoming one is exactly that, work! While it’s completely worth it, there are definitely times along the way when the “becoming” process is a struggle. After all, you are two different people from two different families and your life experiences are not necessarily the same. It takes a lot of work to compromise and to always consider the other person in all of your actions and words.
Now add a few kids into the middle of this “becoming.” Not only are you trying to be a great life partner to your spouse, now you have to try to keep these little people alive, happy, healthy, and most importantly not kill yourself in the process. Just like in marriage, parenting involves a lot of work to compromise and always consider the children in all of your actions and words. But how do you remain connected to your spouse in the midst of common core math homework, potty training, and 2 a.m. vomit clean ups? I don’t know that I have an exact answer to this question. I’m sure for every relationship it is different. One thing that I do know is that communication is key. My husband and I are like two passing ships usually throughout the work week. We both work full time outside of the home, he’s also a full time student and serves in full time ministry at our church. We currently have a 9 year old, a 19 month old, and I am in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy with our new baby. Needless to say, we are BUSY! I’m usually in bed long before he can shut his lap top down for the night. With all that we have going on, we always make time to communicate with each other. We text randomly throughout day, we talk during our lunch breaks, and we always face-time with the kids if he’s going to be home late in the evening. On weekends we try to catch up on shows we like to watch together on our DVR, and sometimes we will go to dinner, just the 2 of us. We have even had my mom keep the kids and instead of going out we just come home and cuddle together on the couch. No matter what, we always manage to reconnect at some point throughout our day. We have to. It’s vital for us. Not just because we are married and that’s what we are supposed to do. But because we genuinely like each other. Even when we get on each other’s nerves, we still are each other’s favorite person. My laundry may never be caught up, my house needs vacuuming and I’ve given up on those baseboards. But despite all of that, I get to be his person and most importantly, our kids know that I’m his person. Our kids see that we choose each other everyday no matter what. They see that we make the decision everyday not just for them but for ourselves to love each other and to like each other. To be silly together and to laugh.
So is it hard being married with children? Absolutely! Is it worth it? A million times YES!!