I would like to begin this post by stating that I do appreciate all of the support I’ve had over the years from all of my friends and family during each of my pregnancies. That being said, there are some things that you just should not say to a pregnant woman. Most of these things would be inappropriate to say to anyone. However, here I am 24 weeks pregnant with baby number 3, and my mind is still boggled by the things that come out of people’s mouths. Unfortunately, this does not just apply to friends and family. Perfect strangers will randomly make the most absurd comments to me. I can’t speak for all preggos everywhere, but I personally do not recall asking most of these people for their advice or opinions. While I do appreciate the compliments and do entertain the questions, there are just a few things that are flat out rude and really need to stop being said. So here we go, my list of what not to say to a pregnant woman:
1. You’re so big! -Why is this comment necessary? I’m growing another human, my belly is supposed to be big! And yes, the rest of me may be spreading as well but like most people, pregnant women are completely aware of what size they wear. We know we are growing, we are supposed to! Also, with each pregnancy you get bigger quicker. You’re body knows what to do and naturally recognizes the hormone changes that are associated with carrying a child, so with each pregnancy your body goes into overdrive a little quicker. It’s how God designed us.
2. Are you sure there’s just one in there?- This one may get you hurt. While there are women who carry multiples, most women do not. Even if you are having multiples, it’s EXTREMELY rude to suggest that someone is having more than one child based on their size. You’re pretty much saying, “Woah, you’re huge!” Just stop it!
3. Are you going to have anymore?- Can I please give birth to this one first???
4. When is your baby due? You should wait and have it on (fill in the blank), that’s my birthday!- Ok, while this one is technically harmless, it’s not very smart. Unless it is a scheduled delivery, we have no control over what day our baby will be born. I don’t know anyone who had their baby on their actual due date let alone planning to wait for someone else’s birthday. Side bar, if you’ve never been pregnant before, once you hit 36 weeks, you are so over it. You’re back hurts, your hips hurt, you can’t sleep, you pee on yourself when you sneeze and laugh and you’re just ready to be done. You can not wait for this final stretch to be over with and the thought of someone suggesting you “wait” an extra however long to have your baby is really annoying.
Now this last one is not something someone says, it’s an action that is performed without asking.
5. Touching someone’s belly- Unless you know this person well and have asked their permission, do NOT rub the belly of a pregnant woman. This is not a magic lamp, we are not good luck charms. Most importantly, our stomach is just that, OUR stomach. Yes, there is a baby growing inside of it, but it’s still a part of my body. If I were not pregnant, you would not randomly walk up to me and rub me. Unless you have asked and she has said yes, please keep your hands to yourself. (If this is a perfect stranger, don’t even ask…that’s just weird and it creeps us out!)
I hope this post has been enlightening and informative for anyone who has committed any of the above offenses. If by chance you have been an offender, don’t panic. You now have all of the information you need to not make these mistakes again. It’s never too late to turn over a new leaf! Besides, we know you mean well, but like your mom always said, think before you speak, and if you can’t think of anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.